Comedian, activist, and writer Alok speaks about identity, belonging, and finding freedom

Comedian, activist, and writer Alok speaks about identity, belonging, and finding freedom. Alok speaks with Richard Lynch ahead of their Dolan’s Show on Thursday, July 30.

Alok sat down with I Love Limerick’s Richard Lynch to discuss acceptance, life, identity, and belonging

Internationally acclaimed poet, comedian, public speaker, and actor, Alok brought their most intimate show yet, Eat Pray Leave, to Dolans Warehouse on Thursday, July 30, speaking with Richard Lynch ahead of the show, they discussed themes of acceptance, spirituality, and belonging.

In what seemed to be a show destined to happen, Alok quickly explained they discovered Limerick through their love for poetry as a child, leading to a mission to make visit the city at a point in the future.

“As a child, I loved limericks, and so I researched where limericks came from, and I learned about Limerick, Ireland. I said, ‘One day I’m gonna end up there,’ and here we are,” they told I Love Limerick.

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Speaking ahead of their sold-out appearance at Dolan’s, the internationally renowned performer reflected on everything from spirituality and self-acceptance to LGBTQ+ visibility and the power of community. Opening the conversation, Richard Lynch asked the Texas-born artist about the connection between sexuality and spirituality.

“ Absolutely it is, because the truth is we live in a very disembodied world where we’re stuck in our heads, and we’re often separated from each other. And sexuality, gender, these are flashpoints in our culture because these are actually portals to get back into a connected society. I think a lot of the repression of LGBTQ people is because of a larger spiritual crisis where people don’t know who they are. They just know who they’ve been told they should be.”

That theme of authenticity runs throughout Alok’s work, with Richard raising the conversation of online criticism and appearance-based abuse; they suggested many people are repeating cycles they have experienced themselves.

 ”I think that a lot of people have bought into the tragedy that if they hurt other people, they’ll hurt less, that if they’re just on the other side of the joke, that if they are able to be the bully themselves, that they were bullied by when they were kids, that that’s what healing is,” Alok said, but added they believe there is a need to break the cycle, “I actually think healing is breaking out of that entire circuitry, not needing bullies at all.”

Alok also argued that much of the discrimination faced by gender-diverse people has its roots in society’s discomfort with femininity. They said, “We live in a society that just completely devalues and disprivileges femininity, and the idea that you would choose to be feminine when you could be masculine is kind of rendered impossible to people. Why would you ever wanna be that ’embarrassing thing’? But I actually think that being feminine is one of the most empowering, transcendental, fantastic experiences.”

Rather than seeing masculinity and femininity as opposites, Alok believes everyone carries both. “The issue is, we’ve been taught that masculinity and femininity have to exist in opposition, that there has to be some internal war,” Alok said, continuing, “But when you find harmony in both your masculinity and femininity, there’s no greater peace. I feel like for so long when I was younger, I was trying to sculpt the femininity outside of me. I was embarrassed about the tenor of my voice. I wouldn’t allow video recordings like this. I’d be like, ‘Oh, my God, people are gonna see my feminine,’ and now I’m unafraid in it, and that allows me to just live in the world uninhibited and not afraid of other people’s projections.”

The conversation also turned to the incredible contribution LGBTQ+ people have made to art and culture throughout history. Richard asked what would happen in a world without the  Nutcracker Suite of Tchaikovsky, noting, “there would be no Sistine Chapel without Michelangelo, there would be no Dorian Grey without Oscar Wilde, and everyone would look like shit at the Oscars.”

 ”It’s very true,” replied Alok, adding, “And what happens is that often our aesthetic contributions are decontextualised from our struggles. Not only did we have these contributions, but we also had them under extreme oppression and duress. Imagine what we could create if we didn’t have to be persecuted.

“These were people writing novels and treatises and concertos. Feeling like they only could have a little bit of space in society, and having to do it from the margins and the shadows. What kind of art, what kind of brilliance would we create if we didn’t have to be our own first form of censorship? And I feel so proud to be a descendant of this LGBTQ legacy, because knowing these contributions is something I only found later on in my life.   It sucks that we grow up in a society that doesn’t teach people that so many of our greatest pillars of artist innovation come from the queer community.”

Growing up as a Punjabi Malaysian, non-binary person in Texas, Alok said they always felt like an outsider, with their earliest memories being “what’s going on here” and “I don’t belong to this”. They believe over time that feeling and those thoughts became a source of strength rather than isolation.

“When you’re an outsider, you get to see how the world works. A lot of people are just on autopilot. They’re just doing the things that they’ve been told that they should do. But when you’re an outsider, you get to see people make those choices, and I learned to love the world from its distance.

“Instead of scorning it or feeling angry by it, I learned to see how everyone was trying to find love. At the end of the day, that’s what everyone’s trying to do. People will do the wildest stuff in order to have the perception of love or the perception of safety. And that’s what gives me compassion for people.”

That perspective ultimately led them to what they describe as the real work of life, self-acceptance, explaining, “I think that’s why we’re outsiders, because we love ourselves. And the world will punish you for loving yourself. This society wants you to hate yourself and to feel shame, because that’s how it can use you. But when you are shameless and when you are free, then they exile you.”

Despite speaking openly about the pressures of visibility and the grief of seeing others unable to live authentically, having grown up in Texas, Alok remains optimistic. They said, “ I feel a lot of the people I grew up with didn’t make it out, won’t make it out, are still living deeply closeted and abbreviated lives. And I feel this deep ethical responsibility to be as loud and flamboyant and visible and proud as possible, because other people can’t.”

Their hope extends far beyond LGBTQ+ rights, adding, “Now, as an adult, I feel like I have my crew, my soul family, my soul batch baked all across the world of other freaks and free people who are trying their best to create a better world. And if I can’t do it that day, they’re gonna shine on for me. So the world that I want is a world in which no one is afraid of expressing their true self.

“That’s not just about gender and sexuality. That’s about everything. That’s about wearing what you wanna wear. That’s about choosing your own name. That’s about actually telling your family, ‘This is what I wanna do. This is my passion.'”

Before leaving Limerick, Alok offered one final message inspired by I Love Limerick’s mission. They said, “ To really love a place means that you need to create a place where everyone there feels like they belong. And the reason I wanted to speak to you is I, I just thought that was such a beautiful poem. To say out loud, ‘I love Limerick’, is a way of actually aspiring to society here, where every single person feels seen and recognised and respected. And there’s so much work we have to do to get there, but I just want to say that I love you, and I don’t need to know you, and I don’t need to have met you, but I’m rooting for you always, and I hope that you can find the fullest and freest version of you as well.”