Who do we know that’s handsome and charming

Yet, on raising his eyebrows can look quite alarming

Who alone can the World’s problems unravel

While he drives his Jag and scoffs at free-travel ?

Crowd reply: “JACK” !


Who tonight, at ninety two

Pretends that he’s eighty to me and you

Who feigns that he’s sick – and then starts to grouse

So Lisa can come running – and clean  up his house ?



I can see him now – he’s rubbing his belly

With thoughts of Formula One on his brand new telly

He’s going to get healthy and turn Vegetarian

So tell me, – who’s our favourite octogenarian ?



Yet who do we love and wish only well

Who’s our pal that we think is swell

Who is the auld fellow that we love the most

And to whom shall we raise our glasses for a special birthday toast?